The reasons why Dungeons & Dragons is absolutely NOT a "nerd" game

Everyone knows nerd people love fantasy stuff. Much more at ease among elves and spells than in a mall (exactly like me), these shy, very casual-wearing creatures often live in fantastic worlds where they can be super-cool heroes with no glasses nor fat. Someone call them geek, and this word is often related to people with a flair for informatic knowledge as well - since virtual worlds and videogames are usually the two halves of the same need to escape. In general, they need a lot of time to get used to standard relationships between human beings, and that's why the role play games (RPGs), whose the most famous one is obviously Dungeons & Dragons (fantasy stuff), are often cherished by these artists of imaginary life. 

Maybe you don't play D&D just because you haven't got a social life, but because you've got a serious one. Source: funnyjunk.com

BUT: let's explain why Dungeons & Dragons, which is basically the only RPG I played (seamlessly) for many years (and I've been a wonderful Dungeon Master for most of the time - cough cough -), it's NOT a game for nerds; to be more precise: you must NOT be a nerd to live totally the real, difficult pleasure this great game can provide to a group of people being in good vibes with each other, insofar as it is played with the proper means and spirit. The feeling of achievement and satisfaction such a game can provide has NOT to be related to your nerdoid skills. I'm talking about D&D just because it is the game I know the most, but I guess I'd express a similar opinion about other simulative RPGs I'm a little acquainted with, like Vampires: The Masquerade or Warhammer: Dark Heresy.

First of all: there are many types of nerds, but here, whenever I'll type nerd, I'll mean someone who always interprets reality in terms of data, bonuses, technical names, numbers, tactics. Someone obsessed with the technical aspect of any games (Magic is one of the most common field teeming with nerd minds). "Burnt brains" are the kinds of people I'm dealing with here, and they're usually the ones using games to avoid life's convolutions. This type of nerds is often not very confrontational. 

When a fantasy setting is displayed, a creative mind thinks about the mistery and the history of its magic environment; the nerd thinks about standard terms like tank, buffer, party, dodging, loot, feats etc., words which, given their technical meaning, remained exactly the same in other languages (sometimes with very funny adaptations). The "burnt one" doesn't realize the pleasure of living in another world with some friends, but yearns for victory and lots of EXP points; therefore, a D&D campaign led by nerd people is an odd mess made of battles and numbers and cunning cheats to get stronger and stronger.

Being a DM means living a second life. No: it means living many. Source: nerdsourced.com

Now: What I think is that when you play this game your fighting/destruction/I-must-win-and-conquer ability is not what really matters. Come on, you're an entirely different person in a totally different world; you have special powers, you're from another race, you can travel throughout beautiful lands: would you really think just about your gold coins and your next spell levels? The fact is: if you really care about the beauty of this game and the huge expensive tomes it is described in, you already know you CANNOT really win here, nor lose. You can just run a good or a bad game. You won't be necessarily a VIP, and your character won't be necessarily interested in becoming a VIP.

The typical crash the door, kill the monsters, take the loot, buy more powerful stuff, enjoy your EXP points method is a really nice entertainment in many videogames, either from the D&D saga or not. There's plenty of virtual RPGs where you do this all the time (I'll never get how some people fell in love with Diablo), alone or with many companions, and many players, as I said above, play D&D exactly that way, since they expect to see their characters's skills grow up as quickly as possible. Waiting for the "level up excitement", a lot of burnt-minded people just struggle to kill enemies without building a multi-shaded personality. 

The core of what I'm saying is that in order to enjoy completely his/her job a DM needs not only a particular type of playing characters (PC), but a particular type of people, someone who can keep the metagame to the minimum level. Metagame means the ensemble of terms and attitudes which debunk the fiction of the game unrevealing its technical, mathematical frame. Example: if, during a battle against a hydra, you say something like "Buff me mate, I'm going to tank" you're doing metagame: in such a situation, you are supposed to think about the simplest way to save your and your companions' life. The very beauty of this game is that it is not supposed to be considered a game all the time, exactly in the same way an actor/actress is not supposed to remind the audience he/she's acting.

Having some fights is absolutely necessary to build any party's identity. Source: tribality.com

In certain occasions, jokes are a nice way to break the ice or make the atmosphere more relaxed; but it is quite frustrating when the players don't really care about the details of the ancient elven city they're in, or the terrible story of the cursed swamp, or the solemn words of the worried major. Players are supposed to shut up most of the time, because if they lived these situations for real, they would do so. Striving for "the game" can make many people forget about the fact everything in D&D, even the simplest dialogue, is part of the game, exactly like in real life, where many kinds of things, even the most boring ones, define what we are. 

Let's tell the truth: the real nerd is often a little opinionated, and they're rarely quiet while recollecting a quotation from The Lord of the Rings or Twin Peaks; if their character is a warrior, they'll be a super warrior, if wizard, a super wizard; they'll never dare to create a warrior who's got a flair for cooking, or a wizard affected by aracnophobia; they need stock super-cool feats, not personalities.

D&D is the game of life, because its system is a perfect mixture of natural abilities and casual events, exactly like in real life. I think no RPG can be more realistic. Life is not like Skyrim or Lineage: your D&D character is limited by conditions of birth, wealth, nature, and cannot just wander and fight because it's fun; he or she is risking their life, and needs a proper reason to do that. "Becoming stronger" is a good reason only if the character really considers strenght important because of their background. For the same reason, a character is not supposed to have giant horns or claws, neither a red or scaled skin, just because these things are cool.

By allowing the players to create any kind of character a DM builds a helter-skelter campaign where anything, with no reason, is possible; namely, absolutely not like in real life. Fun will not last for long, because when everything is possible you have no reason to struggle. Limits must be put, restrictions must be told: you cannot decide many things about your life, that's why D&D must not allow you to decide anything; if you're looking for total freedom, play a videogame, which, having no restrictions, allows you to be totally disconnected by the rest of the world while venting your frustration in front of a screen; this is much simpler, of course. D&D is a social game, because you have to interact properly with other people, not using just standard answers. Using fantasy is much harder than using numeracy, and that's why this game requires creative individuals.

Should all of us be PCs created in another dimension, how boring this game would be. Source: pinterest

 
So: next time you feel like laughing at this game, just think about the meaning of the word nerd and the peculiarity of D&D. If you asked me if I've ever felt ridiculous while playing in an imaginary world with imaginary characters, I'd answer yes; but I could also ask an actor/actress the same question, or an energy drink promoter. Only someone living intensely can play this game intensely, without being in a hurry, without talking too much or too rarely. I have no reason to feel "nerder" than an actor/actress or a Softair sniper, since fiction makes our life richer and more beautiful, especially if we live it together with some friends. 

So life goes: there are variables, there are costants; accidents, catastrophes. We don't know anything, we cannot be sure about anything. And the reason I love this game is that it reproduces life, without denying it. It's not just about fighting, but also about why you fight. Every single action you're meant to do is translated in a die; you cannot be sure about the aftermath, you just know your probabilities. And whereas some of your actions are completely up to you, many aspects of your story are just decided by your destiny; this is something difficult to explain to a modern age videogamer. There are too many pictures, especially because of videogames, surrounding us and reminding us the difference between this and a fantasy world; but around a D&D table, most of the details you love thinking about are up to your personal imagination, namely, the depth of your feelings.

According to this standpoint, D&D is more than a game, and that's why a "standard" nerd, namely a person who just looks for games, cannot really embrace its beauty: to appreciate a proper D&D experience, you don't have to be a gamer nor an actor, but a gaming actor, an acting gamer - and isn't this exactly the funniest method to play life? So many times we've got the feeling everything is determined by some celestial dice, and so many times we suppose everything is up to us; the only problem with real life is we cannot complain with any DM.

A map of Faerun, the most famous D&D campaign setting: lots of novels and videogames have been set here, and you cannot even imagine how big it is... Source: forgottenrealms.wikia.com

The reasons why Italy definitely deserves Bello Figo's songs

A very very old kind of ignorance, you know, makes many people blame immigrants about everything. Among the reasons a country may have a racist behaviour, we can number its history, its welfare, its education system, and, obviously, its politicians. 

Italy is (has always been) a suspicious, sometimes a little scared country towards other cultures. Since I’m from Italy but live in London, I’m very well acquainted with that particular curiosity of the Italian citizen who wonders all the time: “What does the rest of the world think about us, about our accent, about our government?...”  And this is really good, insofar as it helps a country to import the best aspects and ideas from other places; but, most of the times, this curiosity just shows the fact Italy doesn’t feel part of an international, multicultural system. Officially, beyond the Alpes and Sicily, there’s a strange, exotic, huge region which tries all the time to weaken Italian economy and integrity; there are threats everywhere: both EU and immigrants make Italy terribly poor.

Immigration from Libya, from Syria, from many African countries etc. is one of the main Italian problems; which means, immigrates themselves are not the problem, but the way they are to be admitted and treated in Italy. Should you ignore this, lots of them die during their (very expensive) journey throughout the Mediterranean. Many of them are exploited for very hard and underpaid harvesting jobs in Southern plantations, which also led to some riots by black immigrants against the caporali (the unofficial “masters” of many poor day labourers). 

One of the most efficient methods thanks to which some politicians gain votes and support is blaming people from different cultures, with a different skin. They steal our jobs, they rape our women, they don’t pay taxes, they stink, they drink, and obviously the reason of their actions is always easily recognizable. The last legend about immigrants, especially the black ones, is that, as soon as they reach the Italian soil, they earn money daily (thanks to Italians’ taxes!) without any job, they get a house, and, in many cases, they can live in luxury hotels without any extra costs. 

This legend was steadfastly told by politicians during the catastrophic earthquake of August 2017 which damaged several towns of central Italy: making people think about all the honest Italians who lost their houses in comparison with all the unemployed immigrants living serenely in a five stars hotel and eating pasta all the time was a very smart strategy which racist parties could shake Italians’ basic instincts with. When a country is in dire straits, what’s better than channelling fools’ rage against imaginary problems?

But a sassy champion suddenly came, the chosen one who could laugh at such a legend in order to spread the truth; a black hero wearing horrible, shiny clothes who sang to Italian people their own shallow, narrow-minded opinions: his name is Bello Figo (something like: handsome cool guy). This young superslim Ghanian guy with a Hello Kitty tattoo on his chest, this rapper-like singer whose music videos nowadays count millions of views, made many (not musically brilliant, that’s true) songs about all the main Italian stupid commonplaces. He lives in Parma, but he didn’t emigrate to Italy on a boat, like many of his compatriots; he sings in Italian, and his strong African accent makes some Italian words particularly funny.

Source: https://www.dailybest.it/musica/bello-figo-referendum-costituzionale/

This artist of trolling, this juggler of bad words mocked basically all the topics you could find in a typical conversation between Italian dumbasses: from the enviable richness of Berlusconi the Great to the legendary strenght of Juventus, from the famous evergreen charm of Benito Mussolini, the unforgettable, efficient, still very sympathized with dictator of the 40s, to the immortal beauty of famous actors; not to talk about the compelling wish of sexual pleasure (let the epic line be told: I’ll bed you ten times, and after that I’ll block you on WhatsApp), or the rampaging fear of the IS group.The expensive smartphone, the branded belt, the gossip tv shows: any of the most common Italian topics have been told in his songs which won him fame and money.

But most of Bello Figo’s art is expressed in his songs about all the morons’ certainties about immigrants. He sang all of them, as an open-hearted street performer: I love raping the Italian girls, I steal bicycles as soon as I can, I live with the government’s benefits, I hate working, Italian president allowed me to pass your borders and eat your food etc. Bello Figo’s technique is a refined provoking scream towards all the natural born white patriots. “I beat my son”, he sings in his darkest song, Sono bello come profugo, despite of the fact he definitely has no children; namely, hate me because I’m a black violent person.

"They give our houses to immigrants, and the refugee boasts about that: I don't pay rent".
 Source: http://www.supereva.it/bello-figo-alessandra-mussolini-lite-diretta-tv-immigrazione-26262

How Italian average donkeys reacted to his fame, that’s not difficult to imagine: they took Bello Figo very very seriously, to the point he was invited by some tv shows in order to be scolded and insulted by politicians and crowds of poor Italians worried about their wallets and their dignity. The rage of the Member of the European Parliament Alessandra Mussolini (yes, she’s his granddaughter), and her scream: “Go back to your country!” are probably the best proof that Bello Figo won against everything and everyone. He can already afford to be insulted by very important people, which means his style got exactly what it was meant to get. He played a role for long time, and obviously only few were smart enough to notice that it was just a role.

Bello Figo is not just a cunning youtubber; he’s a symbol, an outcome of chrisis of values (more than economical chrisis), the most perfect reaction to the great xenophobic trend which seems to affect more and more the Western countries. I’m not saying I’m sure he’s conscious to be a symbol: probably someone behind him expressly created his style and his lyrics, in order to make him a funny rich icon of our times. But this doesn’t really matter. Everyone knows you need some intelligence to appreciate irony: during a very hard time for Italy, it looks like most of Italians prefer to blame Bello Figo instead of politicians, since (oh my God!), he’s taunting all the spotless homeland-loving taxpayers, getting a living out his bad jokes about immigrants’ life of leisure. 

Even a very popular Italian tv show, Striscia la notizia, which always claimed to be the “voice of justice”, accused Bello Figo of “peopleism” (gentismo), since he got a lot of money out of honest people’s indignation (angry people are probably most of the viewers of his videos). “Maybe people who fight against crisis and high cost of living don’t feel like listening to your irony, don’t you think?” the justice-maker journalist asked the Ghanian artist, who now, apparently, is finally ready to exit the Youtube box and make concerts throughout Italy. Thank you, Italian sense of humour, you made him great, although your xenophobic mien is undoubtedly stronger than everything: just few hours ago (it’s January 20^th) I read that Bello Figo’s scheduled jig at Supersonic Music Club in Foligno (Perugia) has been cancelled  because of the countless amount of racist insults he got. And this is not the first time.

Source: http://www.supereva.it/bello-figo-striscia-mi-mantengono-italiani-non-sono-profugo-27944

The fact is: he’s not but singing all the bad jokes and myths created by media and politicians, who got money and power out of people’s silliness and vulgar instincts; the same silliness and instincts, I’d like to say, which took UK away from Europe. I want to ask you: since hordes of dumbasses get more and more angry when he shows (on purpose) an irksome behaviour, and given the fact he becomes more popular thanks to this indignation, why shouldn’t he be irksome? “Do you know we’re paying your rent with our money?” a sulking honest citizen asked Bello Figo during the above-mentioned show hosting Mussolini; he smiled with amusement, and his answer definitely deserves to be written in history books: “That’s okay the same to me”, which, of course, made all people surrounding him screaming more and more with shame and anger. That’s exactly the point: how can people not see the art of trolling, even when it clearly attacks people’s credulity?...


Bello Figo's most famous song, No pago affitto (I don’t pay rent), whose lyrics has been subbed in English in one of the Youtube videos, is probably the best summary of Italian prejudices. Featuring his (obviously black) friend The GynoZz, this song is vocal in declaring that immigrants don’t need to pay rent, nor to be worried about a house, a car, a job. “I won’t be a worker” Bello Figo proudly wrote in the lyrics, “I came here with my friends, and as soon as we arrive we get money, car, pussies.” What the shame! How can a black guy insult the honest Italian worker struggling to survive, and instigate young people to violence against women? “We want a salary and a broadband... I won’t soil my hands, because I’m already black.”

By mentioning the former Prime Minister Matteo Renzi, who doesn’t have anything to do with the immigrants' "absolute freedom", in this song Bello Figo managed to talk basically about every aspect of Italian narrow mentality in just one song; since the average citizen blames politicians about any problem, not being mature enough to take care about their own needs and questions, Bello Figo did exactly the same in No pago affitto, depicting the materialist laziness which lets people writing thousands of derogatory posts against the government without any cautious criteria.

Bello Figo is a sociologic, worthy of attention phenomenon. He sang (as I said before, maybe unconsciously or fulfilling someone else’s marketing plan) the decay of Western society, morbidly attached to money and banal commonplaces, by showing that people are always ready to hate but never ready for irony, or at least self irony; they’re too immature to laugh at their own silliness. He’s the mirror of the average wishes: sex, money, fame; more than that, he’s the mirror of leaders’ petty, xenophobic lies. Apart from his terrible pronunciation, his monotonous rhythm, his parodic clothes and accessories, this lucky artist gave us a lesson of seriousness; you need to be serious to be able to laugh.

If a coloured-hair guy singing jokes about prejudice is so frown upon that his jigs are cancelled, how should we feel about politicians spreading that prejudice? I think Italy, and not Italy only, cannot realize its priorities, and that Bello Figo definitely deserves all the money he got.

Source: http://www.repubblica.it/spettacoli/musica/2016/12/14/news/bello_figo-154103642/